Chantelle Getuienis (English)

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Mom’s story

I was brought up in a house where my Father and Mother abused alcohol. My father used to work away from home and then my mother used to have different men over and have relationships with them. Most of them were married men. I used to go with her because she had no one to leave me with and then I had to sit in the cars while she was with these men. When my dad returned home I told him that “mommy was with another man” and then he used to hit her so much and I had to stand in the room and she how he beat her up. I loved her so after a while I just kept quiet when she visited these men and then she did not get beat up by my dad. My dad and mom split when I was about 6years old. We went and lived in a government flat and lived on welfare and food stamps. My mother did not stop her ways and she just went on to abuse alcohol and having affairs with different women. When I used to tell her I don’t want other men with her, she threw me out of the flat and I had to then go and sit under the steps until she was not cross with me anymore. I was in Standard 6 when I went and lived with my aunt. My mother married my stepdad and honestly I thought she will stop her ways. I really loved my stepdad and felt for the first time in my life that we were a normal family.  One day my mother phoned me and told me my stepdad was stabbed by one of his friends and he passed away. I felt sorry for her and I remember telling her that “Mommy don’t worry I will move back to you and I will look after you”. Only after moving back, I was in Standard 7, I found out that she had an affair with my Stepdad’s friend and he walked in on them and then he got so mad that he wanted to hit his friend and his friend had a knife and he stabbed my Stepdad in the next and he died almost instantly. I just could not believe this woman! Will she never change? For my mother it was all about I, Me and Myself. My mother committed suicide in 2003 leaving behind her new husband and my brother only eight years old at the time. We also did not talk to each other in this time.

Dad’s story

After my mother left my Dad he lost his job, he started drinking more and using hard drugs. My Dad ended up as a “hobo” living on the streets. My husband I and I took him into our house, but after 2 weeks of living with us they broke into our house and we just knew that it was him. I was heartbroken. I just wanted so badly for him to change and just leave all the drugs and alcohol behind but it did not happen. My husband told him to leave our home and I did not have contact with him after that. It was about 2 years after the incident that my aunt phoned me and told me that my Dad passed away.  At that time my Dad lived with people on a farm that actually took him in and cared from him. He had a stomach ulcer and it poisoned his body and they found him dead in his room. I later found out that my Dad stopped drinking and the people he lived with tried to help him to get his life back together….but the damage was already done because of all the year of alcohol and drug abuse….it was too late.

My story

Between Std 7 and Matric we moved a few times and by that time I got involved with the wrong crowd. Because my Mom did not worry where and go and when I get back, I just did whatever I wanted. It was like a free pass to FUN. I started using drugs with my new friends and drinking a lot of alcohol. We used to go clubbing in Hillbrow from Friday and I would only come back on Sundays and my mom never asked where I was or what I was doing, but by this time it did not bother me anymore and contrary I was very happy because I could do whatever my heart desired. When my mom and I got in a fight I would go and sleep in the park and just use drugs and alcohol to take away the pain. I was now popular and friends with people who loved me and accepted me. We were the outcasts and it was fun. I had friends that were Satanist and I got involved in the occult. Thank God that I did not become a full hard Satanist. Between all this chaos I finished my matric and got a job at the bank. I went and lift with my Auntie again. My life was on track….well that was what I believed at that time. I met my husband as he also worked for the bank. Both of us had a love for drinking. I stopped taking drugs but the alcohol abuse got worse. My husband and I married after 9 years together and we immediately started with a family…….imagine that! We did not even think it through! But that is what people do, they get married have children and then live that fairytale life. NOT US. After we had our son, we just partied harder than before and in this time I started using drugs again, but my husband didn’t know. He hated drugs! But loved alcohol.  This live was now boring and I wanted some excitement. The very person I said I would never become my Mother…..was the very person I was now. I had an extra marital affair and divorced my husband. I did not once think how it will affect my son. I started using more and more hard drugs and was permanently drunk and drugged. In this time (about a year after I left my husband), my husband gave his life and heart to the LORD. God chose him and God was merciful to take my husband and make him new! Wow what an amazing Father we serve. My Husband then came and visited me and told me that his life changed and he accepted the Lord as his Saviour. I thought this man was either on drugs or drinking too much! He was crazy. I mean really…Jesus?? I did not want to have anything to do with “this Jesus”. This Jesus never did anything for me; all I got was heartache and a dysfunctional family. I thought that this new “Johann” is not going to last long and tomorrow the old Johann the one that loves drinking like me will be back…..Oh was I wrong…..A month or so passed by and my Husband invited me to his house. He told me that he had beer and I thought yes free beer, so I got into my car and drove to his house. Meanwhile he had other plans. He invited 2 of the churches councillors. I stopped at the house got myself a beer and sat and enjoyed it, not knowing the action that will take place in a few minutes…..Suddenly the doorbell rang. I asked Johann who it is and when he said it is church people I almost got a heart attack. I was fuming! What the hell are these people doing here! I ran out to the gate and started shouting, screaming and swearing at these people, people I did not even know. I got in my car and wanted to leave but their car was parked behind me! I went crazy; it was like I was demon possessed! I went into the house and shouting and screaming and gulping down my beer. The lady her name is Amanda came to me and asked me why am I so upset. She looked me straight in the eyes and I just broke down. I started crying uncontrollably and calmed down a bit. In short I told her my story….a story of a woman broken and unloved! She asked if she can pray for me and at first I did not want to but then she did and a calmness came over me….a calmness that I cannot explain. She asked me if I want to give my heart and life the Lord Jesus Christ and I said yes. I did not know what it meant but I said yes. Amanda and Andre prayed for me that night 11 November 2007 and I gave my life to the Lord. My husband told me to sleep over because I was not in a state to drive as I already had a few beers to many and I was crying a lot. The next morning I said to my husband that I did not think I gave my life to Jesus because I don’t feel different. We phoned Amanda and Andre and they prayed for me again.  We went for counselling and 30 December 2007 we asked the Lord to help us to stop drinking. The LORD is so faithful. It is now 6 years later and by the Grace of God we have not once put our lips to alcohol.

Our lives after 2007

WOW WOW WOW!!

I moved back home with our son. Johann and I got married again, but our documents came back from Home affairs telling us that we are still married and we were never divorced. How amazing is that, how it happen only our Father knows. We have grown so much in the 6 years that we have met the LORD. My Son Cole is 9 years old now. He has grown into a handsome boy and every day I look at him I thank the LORD that he gave me this precious gift! Finally I’ve got the family I dreamt about since I was small. Please understand that when you serve the LORD it is not a free pass to live without problems and troubles, but in our weakness HE gives us strength. We cannot imagine our lives today without the LORD. HE has shown us so much mercy and forgave us all our sins. We are new whole people living under his grace. I love my life, I love the people in my life, I love my church, I love my life…the life that JESUS died to give me!

Please know this

There is hope, there was hope for me and there is for YOU!! That hope is JESUS CHRIST! It does not matter where you’ve been, what you’ve done….come as you are….HE will take you and love you and comfort you. Our Hope is in the LORD!

Psalm 34:4-7

World English Bible (WEB)

4 I sought Yahweh, and he answered me,

and delivered me from all my fears.

5 They looked to him, and were radiant.

Their faces shall never be covered with shame.

6 This poor man cried, and Yahweh heard him,

and saved him out of all his troubles.

7 Yahweh’s angel encamps around those who fear him,

and delivers them.